1975 - ASM #149 - Subscribe with Spidey!

Well, looks like ol' Stan's brilliant scheme to get you to buy Marvel Comics wholesale to try to sell to your friends didn't work too well, since, let's face it, all else being equal, everyone would rather buy comics from the newsstand or comic book store (the latter was only starting to gain prominence at this time) than from Billy by the sandbox.

Instead, we get the far more sensible direct subscription service. Today's ad, starring Spidey himself, is among the first of what would soon come to be a mainstay ad in all Marvel comics.

Now, to me part of the joy of comics was rushing down to the comic book store and spending hours perusing the other new releases before paying for my regular fix; nobody in their right mind would consider in-store purchasing of comic books to be a chore. So to me the idea of subscription never held much water... besides, as a kid* I never had enough money to pay for all twelve issues up front.

Even worse, Amazing Spider-Man at this time was retailing for 25 cents an issue, or $3.00 a year, a full 50 cents cheaper per year than if you just bought them at the store! I guess that covers shipping, and if you happened to not live near an area that allowed you to conveniently and consistently get your comics this might be your best bet, but barring that I can't see any reason to subscribe at these rates. Hell, when they say "please allow 8-10 weeks for delivery" that would freak me out that my comics might be up to two months late!



* Two anecdotes from my childhood regarding Marvel comics, subscriptions, and Spider-Man:

When I first came upon these subscription pages as a kid I didn't understand the concept of subscribing just yet, and I actually thought the page was a checklist of different comics you owned! This line of thinking came from the fact that I actually got into Marvel comics via the 2nd edition of Marvel trading cards released in 1991 , which did have such checklists, and were a measure of coolness on the playground. I'd say that marking the pages of my comics was as heinous as vandalism but my first comics got so over-read that they're mostly in tatters anyway, if I still have them at all (and I do indeed still have a handful in my possession).

Meanwhile, in the summer of 1995, I came in "direct" contact with subscriptions when I discovered that someone in our apartment building was subscribing to Spectacular Spider-Man, and potentially other Spider-Man titles that I can't remember. At the time all large pieces of mail for the building was just piled on a table next to the mailboxes for all to see and take. So when I saw brand new sealed comics amongst the pile, no amount of morals and ethics could stop me from absconding with them before the rightful owner picked them up. I feel really embarrassed and ashamed to admit it, but I think this went on for at least 3 issues, and they all, coincidentally enough, were right in the middle of The Clone Saga *(in fact the first issue I took may well have been Spectacular #226, the famous reveal of Peter Parker being the clone of Ben Reilly).

I also seem to recall that my parents found out and told me to reveal my doings to the subscriber, who took it surprisingly well, basically letting me go. Sad to say, but if I was in that guy's position I may well have wrung my younger self's neck.

*This ad for Marvel Comics subscriptions ran in Amazing Spider-Man #149, October 1975, which is even more ironic given my anecdote since this issue was the climax of the original Clone Saga story, the one whose storyline would be picked up twenty years later!

1975 - ASM #148 - Step Into a Slim Jim When You're Not a Werewolf

I first heard of Slim Jims at the same time they rose to national prominence in the 90's when they used Machoman Randy Savage to paint what's essentially, uh, mechanically separated chicken jerky, as a snack so extreme that it made a cracking whip sound when you bit into it.

I think it was the lack of the sound effect that disappointed me most about Slim Jims.

Well, turns out this in-your-face macho snack food angle had been in effect at least as early as the mid-70's, as this ad shows:

Pretty clever ad name, huh? I mean, sure it might be actually more effective to say that Slim Jims are so extreme even werewolves would eat them (which it actually implies at the end of the ad), and the final slogan of "a little less than a meal, a little more than a snack" could be worded less self-deprecatingly, but when most ads of these period are super-dry, super-quaint, or super queer, lines such as "...you can find it at the grocery store. Or at a lot of the places where you've been getting those sissy snacks" are a breath of fresh, modern air.

Of course, in a few decades time we get to the point where Machoman is yelling and whipcracking meat at your face. So you can decide for yourself whether we've advanced as a smoked-beef-snack eating species.

From Amazing Spider-Man #148, September 1975.

1975 - ASM #147 - Seriously, Evel Knievel, Towels? Fine

Am I the only one surprised that the two ads I've seen in comics so far hawking Evel Knievel merchandise sell 1) a set of action figure toys where Evel's face looks like he doesn't wanna be there, because he really needs to take a crap...

and 2) today's ad, which lets you recall the excitement of the greatest stuntman in American history with... towels?

The sad thing is the ad for the towels looks far more dynamic and exciting than the one for his toys.

Today's ad for Evel Knievel towels ran in Amazing Spider-Man #147, August 1975.

1975 - ASM #146 - Electroman Wants To Learn You!

Today frequent comic book advertiser the Cleveland Institute of Electronics steps it up a notch. It's not enough for you to be deathly jealous of your more successful friend's life to sign up for a career "in electronics."

No sir, they've called in a friend. They've called in... ELECTROMAN

That's right, Jim. Electroman wants you to know two things: one, that his name is written on his shirt. And two: don't give up on your future! CIE can help you "bust-out" into a rewarding job. Find out how. Just fill in and mail this coupon today. He'll see that you get your two free books.

That's right, Electroman's powers are... DUH... getting you free books when you mail a coupon in.

Also I assume by bust out he was comparing your career to when he just demolished someone's brick wall three panels prior.

By the way, you think CIE got the same illustrator that drew Pajama Man?

This ad for the Cleveland Institute of Electronics was from Amazing Spider-Man #146, July 1975.

1975 - ASM #145 - Wijit Works' Hover Spacecraft Won't Work, Idjit!

I've had a personal fetish for the concept of hovercraft since I was a little kid. I say concept because 26 years on, I still haven't seen a production vehicle that comes close to the promise of what hovercraft are supposed to be (i.e. something Doc Brown and Marty rode around in).

So it comes as no surprise that the following ad was something that caught MY eye when I was a kid reading comic books. What does come as a surprise was that said ad came out a full fifteen years before I was of comic-reading age!

Yes, I remember seeing the very same ads in comic books and (if I recall correctly) issues of Boy's Life in the 90's. Had I known that these ads for Wijit Works' hovercraft plans had been running since the mid-70's, and seeing that the world still hadn't been overrun by kids floating about in homemade flying machines, I wouldn't have even begun to consider paying money to Wijit Works.

 Okay, I probably still would've.

That's right, Wijit Works claims that you can build your own man-sized air car powered by an ordinary vacuum cleaner motor. My family already had an old vacuum cleaner, surely they wouldn't mind the sacrifice if they saw me sliding over the pavement in one of these things.

And best of all, the plans are FREE!

Oh wait, no it's not. The plans are three dollars, and comes with a free astronaut iron-on with order.


At this point I would be surprised if the iron-on actually worked. The cynic in me would just assume that if you had fallen for this, your parents would come home and find the following:

• The vacuum cleaner disassembled, the house covered in dust.
• Your bicycle disassembled (I would also assume)
• Several t-shirts ruined and burned from attempted ironings
• You, three dollars poorer.

Oh well, I only need to wait five more years until I can get me my own hoverboard anyway.





This ad for Wijit Works' Hovercraft plans was published in Amazing Spider-Man #145, June 1975.

1975 - ASM #144 - Count Dante Sounds Martial-Artsy, Right?

Martial arts ads usually combined Asian mysticism with American machismo, bringing the mysterious, "previously forbidden" arts to the limelight in a straightforward "I'll kick your ass you look at my girl crooked again" approach.

That's why I have no idea why John Keehan, teacher for the Black Dragon Fighting Society, aka, the deadliest man alive, and who certainly looks close enough like it in his ad, would pick for himself the decidedly un-threatening name of Count Dante.

Why he chose to render his own name in fruity cursive and surround himself in fuschia is beyond me as well.

Still, despite all this, Count Dante and his paste-on eyebrows and motorcycle helmet afro aroused the fascination of many freaky kids.

Dan Kelly's excellent article on Martial Arts ads in the Comics says of John Keehan's ad:

Danté, or his marketers--though he was more hands-on than the other comic book senseis--were ahead of their time with the "red" ad. While most ads (and even Danté's earlier ads, appearing in Marvel's black and white magazine-format comics) tiled every square inch with copy extolling the benefits of their system, Danté made himself the focus (no challenge, since he was a legendary egomaniac). Danté looked the part of the '70s martial arts master, carefully cultivating his "deadliest man alive" mystique. It's also worth noting that the picture in the "red" ad is heavily retouched. Danté can be seen as he really looked in ad number 2 (still intimidating, but slightly more rakish, and less reliant on the Ming the Merciless look than the figure in the "red" ad). One is unable to tell if he's white, Latino, or black (he was actually Irish-American); which might well have been his intention.

Count Dante even inspired filmmaker Floyd Webb to create a short film delving into Keehan's past:




Fascinating, but he'll always be fake hairy creepy white dude with cursive name and fuschia explosion.

This ad for Count Dante's Black Dragon Fighting Society ran in Amazing Spider-Man #144, May 1975.

1975 - ASM #143 - Monsterman or Sea Horses?

So let's say you're a kid in 1975. You've just saved up several weeks' worth of allowance and now you have three dollars to waste on something for sale in Amazing Spider-Man #143. You come upon two small ads, right next to each other:

The first one, apparently are lessons for how to draw monsters, taught by professional cartoonist Monsterman, who may or may not be an actual monster (I'm leaning towards may). In fact I'm assuming that monster is Monsterman's self-portrait.*

The other is an ad for TWENTY FIVE LIVE SEAHORSES. Or rather, apparently, "one pregnant male" who will give birth to as many as 25 babies. Now, I've shown before how surprisingly legit these ads for live pets are, but I'd be willing to just assume that all I'd be getting is one pregnant male and up to 25 dead black specks. But still, 3 bucks for a seahorse is pretty cool.

Which one would you pick?

*Turns out Monsterman is "Scary" Harry Borgman, an actual cartoonist who isn't satisfied with just one creepy nickname. Leif Peng compiled images from the book in a blog post. Still no word on whether or not Harry Borgman is a real monster.

These ads ran next to each other on the same page in Amazing Spider-Man #143, April 1975.

1975 - ASM #142 - Sick and Tired of This Ad!

Some things are worth more than the sum of their parts: iPhones for example. And families. In the case of ads for correspondence degrees done in the style of comic art, the sum of suckiness definitely adds up.

Today's ad is no different. It's for the Cleveland Institute of Electronics, an educational institution that still exists today, despite having a website design from the early 2000's.

Titled "I'm Sick and Tired of My Job!" it tells the story of a guy who's sick and tired of his job, as it were, at least until he finds out that his newly well-to-do friend Jim is suddenly making money "in electronics now." Apparently he did so by taking CIE courses at home.

Our swishy protagonist's story here is nowhere near as dramatic as Mr. Out Cold, but he is at least far more interesting than Joe Locksmith, with the biggest, creepiest smile in Panel 2. Seriously, you try making that face while saying "Oh, all right." and see how weird it feels.


This ad ran in Amazing Spider-Man #142, March 1975, but had been running for years earlier.

Doppelganger Week!

This week is/was apparently "Doppelganger Week" on Facebook, so it seemed appropriate to change my profile picture to:

1975 - ASM #140 - Giant Seven Foot Tall Monster Robot

"Scare friends and family when you walk towards them as Life-Size terrifying Monster Robot. This amazing Robot obeys your commands."

Spoiler alert: it's made of fiberboard:

Actually I am flabbergasted that the ad would actually show how the whole thing looked with you inside, shuffling around in a big refrigerator box, instead of drawing a fantastical super articulated robot with laser rays, in a style similar to the missile firing tank from Honor House Products.

Also interesting is that this ad sells only plans for the creation of such a monster robot, as though you couldn't just figure it out from the image provided. At least missile-firing tank was actually a big pile of fiberboard and rubber bands that arrived at your doorstep with (I assume) instructions. To get your robot you actually have to go and buy your own robot parts.

But at the very least you can be rest assured that your satisfaction is guaranteed, because you are ordering from none other than... GUARANTEE COMPANY.

From Amazing Spider-Man #140, January 1975.

Real Live Monkeys!

We're taking a little breather from the ads today, but that doesn't mean I'm skipping out on you guys. I recently came upon an article from Comic Book Resources written over a year ago talking about peoples' real life experiences with comic book mail order pets, namely monkeys!

Here's a tidbit from Jeff Tuthill, who shares his own experience with receiving his real life monkey:

I know it wasn’t over $25 bucks because I wouldn’t have bought it if it was. I remember I saved up the money to buy it, and I had it delivered to a friend’s house that lived around the block from me. He called me up when it was delivered, and there was actually postage due upon delivery, which I expected. It was less than ten bucks. I was 15 years old. When he called, I rode over on my bike. It came in this little cardboard box. I mean, I’m saying small. It was probably the size of a shoebox, except it was higher. It had a little chicken wire screen window in it. There was a cut out. All you could see if you looked in there was his face.

Sadly I skipped over the monkey ads when I started doing this blog, and by the time I realized my error they were already gone from the pages of Spider-Man. I have, however, showcased two other pet ads, one for raccoons (sold by a company that used to sell the same monkeys, and still exists today) and one for a... dragon?

I still have no clue what that creature is in the latter ad, so if you have any idea, please feel free to comment below!

1974 - ASM #138 - Buy Cologne from a Kid.

You may remember Blair and their cologne and beauty products. This classy establishment thought it was a worthwhile use of their advertising dollars to take out full page ads in the pages of Amazing Spider-Man, in order to get some of that juicy comic book reader money.

Well, if you find yourself really enjoying Blair and their products, turns out you can probably just go to one of your neighborhood dweebs, and just buy from them:

In the previous Blair ad I showcased they mentioned becoming a salesman, but I assumed they (showing as much common sense as they possibly could've) were targeting that opportunity to adult comic readers, the same ones that might consider locksmithing or carpet-cleaning.

Instead, clearly you can expect yourself to be harassed by kids like Bryan LaRose of New York, whose charms may be so great that you'll find yourself buying not only a case of Blair products (this particular ad, by the way, doesn't really explain what products Blair actually makes, unless you can make out the quarter inch square image on the left), but also a bag of seeds and a subscription to GRIT.

I remember two instances in my childhood when classmates asked me to try to sell their wares to my parents. One person sold vinyl siding, the other sold knives. We eventually got both, but not from my friends nor their respective companies.

And if they had been soliciting as adults, I still don't think we'd've bought.

This ad for Blair product display kit with free trial samples and money making plans, ran in Amazing Spider-Man #138, November 1974.

1974 - ASM #137 - Buy Marvel, Sell Marvel

As I've shown time and time again, comic books were rife with ads trying to get you to make money selling things: Carpet cleaning, Locksmithing, Cologne, Magazines, seeds, and many others.

But today, we'll see an ad in a Marvel comic that encourages you to sell... Marvel comics!

Encouraging you to buy a set of 12 different comics for the price of 8 (two dollars), Spider-Man says "You can order one set or many - and sell them to your friends at full cover price with you keeping the profits!"

"That's right, greedy one. You can get 12 of Marvels (sic) greatest - before they hit the stands - for only $2.00!"

As far as I know Marvel hadn't yet started direct mail subscriptions at this point (which also sold you comics at a discount), so this is probably a precursor to that, but it's amusing to see Marvel angle it as yet another money-making opportunity, even going as far as encouraging you to be greedy!

Of course, by that Marvel knows there's almost no way you'd be able to sell ALL of the comics, since you only get one of each of the popular comics, leaving you with lower-level titles that nobody could care to buy from you (Where Monsters Dwell/Two-Gun Kid, Werewolf By Night), and especially not at the same price as they could buy crisp from the newspaper stands (the only benefit being that presumably you'd get the books a little before they hit retailers).

Maybe if you were able to buy multiple copies of hot titles, or at least pick and choose what 12 issues you could buy, you'd have a decent shot at making money, but clearly Marvel was doing this to expand readership of their less popular books.

Appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #137, October 1974.

1974 - ASM #134 - Buy Comics from Pajama-Man!

Kids nowadays don't know this, but until the 1980's the idea of comic book stores was extremely rare. Up until then comics had always been sold on newsstands, drugstores, grocery stores, etc. It wasn't until this period, the 1970's, that a market emerged for comic book back-issues, and that's when comic book specialty shops emerged.

In their infancy, many collectors stocked up by contacting each other directly, in much the same way kids exchanged baseball cards. Today's entry is a prototypical back issue seller:

That's right, Sparkling Pajama-Man, oops, I meant Howard M. Rogofsky, has 250,000 comics in stock from all the popular publishers and even movie memorabilia. To find out what he sold, you can send 60 cents for a giant catalog.

Incidentally, these catalogs was among the starting points for comic book fan-zines as well. I was "lucky" enough to have been put on such fan-zines back in 1996 when I got a letter published in a Dark Horse Star Wars comic, probably just a few years before the internet had thrown fanzines into extinction.

1974 - ASM #133 - I Can Always Sell Seeds... You Wanna Buy Some Seeds?

Last time I showed you kids how to make money and win prizes by selling magazines about rural American life. Well, if that sounds too "square" for you, I've got the cure... selling SEEDS!

That's right, sell seeds through the American Seed Company:

According to "Chipper Luschenat" from New Jersey "They are the only thing I ever tried to sell that people wanted to buy." And sadly enough, between this and selling magazine subscriptions, I'm tempted to buy the seeds. That's product that literally grows on trees.

Though I wonder how many seeds I'd actually have to sell to win a portable typewriter, cassette tape recorder, or even a bicycle (!). I could probably solve the deforestation epidemic sweeping the globe, or at least have more than a year's supply of beets.

Printed in Amazing Spider-Man #133, June 1974.

1974 - ASM #132 - Holy GRIT, Fellows!

Amazing Spider-Man #132, in which today's ad appears, had no less than FIVE half-page or larger ads that was some form of money-making opportunity involving being a salesman for some company, and many even smaller ads.

This is a lot, but not too extraordinary at the time; comics being a cheap and, one could argue, lowbrow form of entertainment (albeit one that required literacy), was read both by many lower-income members of society,  as well as up-and-coming youth looking to start making their own way in the world.

Today's ad is one of the classic, longest-running advertisers in the comic book business:

GRIT is a newspaper/magazine with roots as far back as the 1880's, and surprisingly is still printed today (!). Its founder, Dietrich Lamade, once proclaimed the following credo to its employees:

"Always keep Grit from being pessimistic. Avoid printing those things which distort the minds of readers or make them feel at odds with the world. Avoid showing the wrong side of things, or making people feel discontented. Do nothing that will encourage fear, worry, or temptation... Wherever possible, suggest peace and good will toward men. Give our readers courage and strength for their daily tasks. Put happy thoughts, cheer, and contentment into their hearts."

 Thanks, Wikipedia, who goes on to say regarding their ads in comic books:

During the first three-quarters of the 20th Century, Grit was sold across the country by children and teenagers, many recruited by ads in comic books from the 1940s to the 1970s. Approximately 30,000 children collected dimes from more than 700,000 American small town homes during the 1950s when the publication still carried the subtitle, "America's Greatest Family Newspaper." A comical ad in Richie Rich comic books aimed to recruit more young salesmen, suggesting that Richie's father, Richard Rich, made his fortune selling Grit.

Perpetually filled with stories about simpler times, GRIT now prides itself as a magazine about "rural American know-how," and you can definitely tell from the ad.

I remember seeing ads for Grit in some of my first comics, ones dating in the mid-80's (about a decade after this particular ad ran), but had encountered them in these old Spider-Man's as far back as the 60's. I always just skipped writing about it because there was something so... milquetoast about the ads.


I'll always remember the very name Grit as being somewhat unsavory... like, why the hell would I want to read something with such a name, much less sell it to my friends? "Hey aunts and uncles, may I sell you Grit?" I might as well have offered to sell them a magazine called Corn Porridge or Crud.

But I finally caved cause I couldn't keep seeing this classic ad, seeing the now-antiquated proper spelling of "FELLAS," and pretend like they didn't deserve their righteous place in Spider-Ads history.

From Amazing Spider-Man #132, May 1974.

But first, a timely aside

"Hi kids, sit down, we need to talk. As I'm sure you've been hearing rumors for a while now, your daddy Sam and I have decided to get a divorce. I know this is really sad, but given the way things have been recently, we decided this is the best thing to do. We'll always have those fond memories back in 2002 and 2004, though, right?"

"Oh, also, I promise you'll have a brand new, hotter dad real soon, cause I'm gonna start dressing like a cougar!"

"Now come and give your momma Sony a kiss."

ASM #129 - Blair Iced Cologne - Who the Hell Used This??

I mean, seriously. In Amazing Spider-Man #129, we are introduced to THE PUNISHER. The purveyor of grim-and-gritty, hyper-macho anti-heroes.

And in the very same issue, we get this:

Yeah. I'm sure somewhere among the masses who watch Saturday morning cartoons, buy Nazi memorabilia, and are considering a career in locksmithing would be interested in selling Blair beauty creme. Even if you get iced cologne and creme sachet worth $6.00.

Let's put it this way. If you took Blair up on their offer, Charles Atlas can't help you.

This ad appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #129 (The first appearance of Punisher!), February 1974.

1973 - ASM #127 - Hypnotize with any TV Set!

You've learned hypnosis the traditional way. In a pinch, you had your hypno-coin. But if you REALLY need to hypnotise someone (by which I mean a cute girl, with you being a creepy dude) RIGHT NOW, this is the ad for you:

"Hypnotize with any T.V. set, 1st Evening or Money-Back!" The ad exclaims. "Television repairman's accidental discovery makes anyone a hypno-tist right away. Secret method uses ordinary TV set. No electronic knowledge needed. No prior hypnotic training needed!"

Unfortunately I couldn't find specific information as to the details of the advertised method, but it probably involves bathing yourselves in TV radiation while throwing the v-hold to wacky.


But wait, there's more!

Amusingly enough the rest of the ad proclaims "Send no money! Just name and address. Pay postman $2.98 plus C.O.D. postage. Or send $3 with order and we pay postage."

So basically, send no money, or send money.

This TV hypnosis ad ran in Amazing Spider-Man #127, December 1973.

1973 - ASM #125 - Total Self Defense System

It's been a while since I featured martial arts ads, which had been numerous in the '60's.

An article I'd mentioned before by Dan Kelly, an in-depth history of martial arts ads in comic books, explains why.

After a judge ruled that Joe Weider (yes, that Joe Weider) had made false claims in his advertisements for, among other things, martial arts instruction books, many instructors (or printers of books) scaled back dramatically on their ads.

This is one of the post-judgment ads, from a company called Universal. Of this ad, Dan Kelly says (much better than I possibly could):

Those ads that persisted had an anonymity to them. The Universal people didn't have a front man, but they tried the strutting peacock method of salesmanship. Perhaps taking a cue from Danté, Universal highlighted that martial arts weren't just for ex-military men with ramrod straight hair but were also for Starsky and Hutch iconoclasts who didn't really need Asian hokum to defend themselves yet wanted an edge to make themselves all the manlier. Clip art returned, but the hats, suits and ties of the old ads were replaced with funky, dry-look dudes in gis or turtlenecks, with big sideburns and even bigger mustaches. Post-Danté, martial artists got hairier, making the Tegners, Flemings and Reumanns look even more like Coach Crewcut.

A Universal ad opens with: YOUR HANDS AND FEET WILL HAVE SUPER FANTASTIC POWER!! Your hands will have the power of an axe and you can use your elbows, knees and feet as death-dealing clubs!...The open hand can deliver a single Karate blow many times more powerful than a boxing champions punch! You'll quickly learn all the vital striking areas that will flatten the biggest and toughest assaulter...FAST!! You'll reduce any assailant to cringing helplessness, in just seconds. You'll fear no man...ever! Our TOTAL SELF-DEFENSE SYSTEM is the most DEADLY form of defense and attack ever devised.

More subdued than Weider's ads, Universal's ads removed all suggestion that the reader was bullied. Wretched clip art dabbled in cheesier metaphor, one poufy-haired karate mensch holding a fistful of dynamite. As a matter of historical curiosity, one Universal ad includes a martial art never mentioned before: Tae Kwon Do. This is the only instance I've come across in which a Korean style (versus a Japanese or Chinese style) is mentioned, hinting at the future market dominance of Korean schools.

I like the design of this ad because it reminds me of really crappy illustrations that accompanied old video game ads (which were about a decade away from prominence still). The mediocre rendering of the Karate warrior could have easily been used for an ad for Karateka.

This specific ad for Universal's Total Self-Defense System ran in Amazing Spider-Man #125, October 1973.